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Jan. 23rd, 2005 08:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yolenI spent most of the weekend feeling guilty that I wasn't around to help my dad shovel the snow like I usually am when storms hit (both at home and the sidewalks in front of his workplace that he's responsible for keeping clear). I called my younger brother and oldest nephew and berated them to help. My brother helped for a while this morning and my nephew not at all. What pissed me off the most was feeling that if I didn't call them it would not have even ocurred to either of them to call my dad and see if he needed help. My father is a wonderful and far too generous man. We all owe him a lot and I hate to think that if I'm the only one that he can depend on for help, and that if I'm not around he's on his own. He couldn't even bring himself to ask for help because that's just how he is. fings said that I can't live my dad's life for him and he's right. Unfortunately, I was raised in a family where eveyone's business was/is everyone else's business. It's hard to not fret over the things I can't help make better. Especially when it comes to my dad, whom I adore. Sigh. And maybe part of my fretting was due in part that I knew he'd somehow get all done without me, it was a strange feeling. I suppose I've gotten used to him depending on me for a helping hand and being appreciative of it. But I also worried because though he's in good health, he's going to be 61 next Sunday. Certainly not old, but not getting any younger.
fings said that I can't live my dad's life for him and he's right. Unfortunately, I was raised in a family where eveyone's business was/is everyone else's business. It's hard to not fret over the things I can't help make better. Especially when it comes to my dad, whom I adore. Sigh. And maybe part of my fretting was due in part that I knew he'd somehow get all done without me, it was a strange feeling. I suppose I've gotten used to him depending on me for a helping hand and being appreciative of it. But I also worried because though he's in good health, he's going to be 61 next Sunday. Certainly not old, but not getting any younger.
