Blatherings of an Extroverted Bookworm

Milo has had a runny/stuffy nose since Monday early in the evening. He's now coughing. Ya'll I'm not ready this! He isn't either. My poor baby :(. Any tips from the parents out there on how to best deal with his cough? Thanks!

I think I'm developing an ear infection. Pity me :(.

Finally cleaned out a box of old clothing I've been meaning to tackle. Picked out some stuff to go to Goodwill. In the pile are 2 pairs of jeans I've been hauling around for 10+ years...the "I will lose weight and fit into these jeans again!" jeans. Depressing. I wore these things 100 pounds ago, just about. All these years of having them stored, and I've just gotten heavier and heavier. I might have to accept that I will never be that size again. But I still need to work on losing weight. In the meantime, I'm releasing those jeans. No point in dwelling on how I used to look, have to concentrate on how I want to look in the future.

Probably the most depressing thing about looking at those jeans is how I thought I was fat then. Amazing.

fings and I went for a physical earlier this week, and we are depressed about our weight, concerned about our blood pressure, etc. We have got to stop feeling bad and DO something. We have to get healthier, for our own sakes and for the sake of our son. Oy gevalt.

After being up for most of the night despite myself, I crashed at 7am in the recliner and woke up around 1pm. I stretched when I woke up, and got a charley horse in my left calf. It hurt like a FUCKING GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKER, ZOMG. Thank goodness fings was home, he was able to rub my calf for me as I whimpered and cursed in pain. I wish like hell there was a less painful way for my body to let me know I am low on calcium. I drank some calcium enriched orange juice and took some Viactiv calcium chews once I was able to walk, and made sure to drink plenty of milk today. I'm glad I can stomach the chews again, for a long while there, they were making me gag.

This stupid fucktard is going to take a three hour nap. Here's hoping I don't make a complete and utter disgrace of myself on my written and oral exam, and the review of my portfolio and other supporting documentation. I should have known better than to agree to the test date right after the frigging election.

Because I am an utter and complete DUMBASS, here I am at 4am in the morning going over my Child Development Associate portfolio for my CDA test and review tomorrow. I'm making sure everything I need to have completed is completed. I should have done this oh, SOMETIME OVER THE SUMMER. Definitely sometime in the past week, but the campaign ate my brain. I'm a fucking idiot. I am also running on fumes. My hope is that my portfolio is more than ready and I can go to be soon, and that anything I need to finish can be at least be done by 6am so I can have at least a 3 hour nap before getting ready for the test. I'm hoping I can keep my shit afloat when I meet with the reviewer at 10am. I will be running purely on post-election joy and caffeine. Yup. I'm a SCHMUCK!! And I am so coming home to sleep once it's all over. Hopefully I'll find out by the end of the year if I get my credential, or if I flunked like a moron. We'll see!

I am SO DONE with formal education and tests and shit. DONE.

I didn't get to sleep until about 6am. I was polishing the cedar chest at 5am. I was alternating cleaning and watching "The Countdown" w/Keith Olbermann and "The Rachel Maddow Show" on MSNBCtv. I slept on the recliner until 11:15am, the longest I've ever been able to stay sleeping on that thing, LOL. I crawled into bed until noon, and then fings and I showered, dressed, grabbed a folding chair (just in case, we had no idea if there would be a very long line, and I didn't fancy standing for an hour or more. stupid flat feet! we didn't need it).

Finally voting was just great. I must say however, I miss the old school voting machines where the switches you moved for your vote kind of clicked, and then you pulled the lever with a very satisfying "ka-chunk!". Afterwards, we went to Cafe Rumba for some damn fine Cuban food.

We got home and I napped a bit on the recliner. I woke up rather cranky. I was feeling utteryly wiped out. Now I'm just really tired. Both mentally, and physically. I guess the stress of it all has taken a bit of a toll. Thank goodness this day is finally here, and we will know one way or the other what the frigging outcome is, already! My stomach is in knots, and I've already cried a little. I am hopeful, very hopeful.

We are expecting thudthwacker and eafm in a short while, as well as my oldest nephews. We'll eat, play some games, order some food. And maybe have the MSNBC.com live coverage on :D.

And yes, our apartment is cleaner and neater than it has been in weeks and weeks. HUZZAH!!! Now we need to work on the small room (so full of stuff and junk) and neaten up the guest room. Oh, and lots of damn paperwork to sift through, file, shred, organize. I need to draft one of my nephews to help move a lot of stuff to Goodwill. Oh, and we especially (ok, I need to) make sure the current level of clean and neat gets maintained as much as possible.

I am suspecting that my period is on its way soon, and that this is in large part hormonal. But knowing that doesn't change the fact that right now I want to flee to parts unknown. Or, hide under my sheet with books and have the world understand that I want it to leave me alone! I feel overwhelmed by a big pile of crap. I don't want to deal with my messy apartment and all the crap that needs to be gotten rid of and cleaned and organized, I don't want to deal with being fat and infertile, I don't want to deal with the efffing condo association bullcrap, I don't want to deal with sending out job applications, and I don't want to deal with the disaster that is my family. I want to hide, read, take a nap, drink soda, eat chocolate and just say "FUCK EVERYTHING" and mean it.

Sigh.

I'd better go work on the kitchen. Baby steps, baby steps...

Fever is at 101.68. Um, ok this is the 5th day in a row where I've had fever. Can this please stop now? I've been sleeping, drinking crazy fluids, and have gotten precious little accomplished this week. Had plans to visit some friends tomorrow, but can't because I have plague. My eyeballs ache. No moar, plz, kthnx.

OMG, I went to sleep way too late last night and slept like total shiiiiiiiiit and I have to sit in class from 9am-1pm and then head off for a wedding that starts @ 4pm and then the reception is like, 6-11. I guess I can *try* to nap on the train, but man I'm going to be a sleepy wench today. *Wah*wah*bitch*moan*.

I wish I had dropped these CDA classes after my miscarriage. My motivation went straight to the toilet after that and it hasn't really returned. Oh well.